неділя, 9 квітня 2017 р.

苦悩

The head of Calliteara pudibunda being attacked by many parasites, Gerald J. Lenhard, Louiana State Univ / © Bugwood.org , CC BY 3.0 US via Wikimedia Commons.

Not a frequent writer I am, after all. Perhaps it is to the best. As neither a good writer I am, after all.

A tale of Wikimedia and of real life. Is it? No, a tale of some random idiot fits better.

On Wikimedia projects, I have been active in MMXI and MMXII. At least I was alive. Then it just went on. I did not lose interest. I just lost myself, what I was back in those years. This has influenced many things. And has its roots in some too. On Wikimedia side there was one thing to dent me back then, but generally speaking it played rather an insignificant role.

Do the math how many years since, because of a reason which to the best of my knowledge III people besides me know explicitly and others may have easily guessed, in fall MMXVI I was able to lower my activity to a near zero level. For instance, for the first time since MMXI I had a whole month on Ukrainian Wikipedia with no edits.

Not quite successfully but somewhat bearably it allowed me to focus on other things. I was fortunate to learn about KNU's Language club and finally after many years of learning stagnation my Japanese progressed even if just a tad, so did my Korean and Mandarin rising from zero to the level of having some idea about them if not yet anything that might be called knowledge.

And programming. For the first time in my life I actually started reading some textbooks and language references on the subject. A good thing considering I increase the amount of world's crap code since 2010 or so, programming languages wise.

Looking at those words it looks nice. Too bad that unfortunately I do not have the capacity for it to be so.

I am rooted in wiki-world. It is not bad. I do not really want to leave. But sometimes those roots tug too strong. Asian Month called me back, just to show me how pathetic I am, not being neither return properly, nor help with what I was asked to help with and what promised to do, nor even just partake as a plain participant properly.

And there is WMUA about which I have the stupidity to care. And where Audit Committee membership does not allow me to do exactly nothing, I've got to at least passively observe to preserve something of the self-dignity I had.

What would a sane person do? Quit I am sure. What I do? I get myself re-elected to do the same for another year at least.

Well, one thing I did quit though. *Waves to university* Too bad I will need to return there someday. I would really prefer not to.

Ukwiki. Agreeing on Green Zero's proposal to RfA me was the stupidest thing of the kind I did in a long while. It had its toll on my already not-in-best-shape nerves.

This all being supplemented by regular or irregular injections of the main ingredient of the season's mood. "це звідки?"

Then really stupid events come. A sequence of stupid events. Or choices, whatever you call them.

Why the heck do I apply for Wikimania scholarship? I do not know if I get it at the time of writing this, and well I do want to get it. But isn't it stupid?

Why the heck do I agree to accept Wikimedia Conference scholarship?

Well, it is clearer why the heck I apply for the Strategy coordination contract — being involved in the process I actually wanted to avoid getting involved at all with the preceding act of stupidity and having money bait to boot I took it. But it was really stupid to do. Especially I feel really sorry being chosen when the person suggesting me to apply wasn't. It is just wrong.

For all the time before that doing some stupid things I was still studying some programming. Even if several times slower than I intended to.

Here I am. I have finished Naruto Shippuden. I have started Boruto. I have watched Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso, I have started Orange. I have watched Mr. Brain. I have started Mirai Nikki. Something is off with this list considering what I was about, right? Exactly.

Oh, and CEE Spring. Quite ironical thing that I have unintentionally left it off the list, isn't it. Another thing where I really want to help, where I promised to help. Though looking back where I did not really had the choice not to do so. And where I am failing.

I am not exactly a no "no" person, but I am too stupid to agree on many things. I am too lazy to do many things. And the more I need to do, the less I do. And no less I agree to do. Or get myself involved into.

This is a tale of no finale as I know not what it is. The best finale I can think of is actually the worst possible common sense wise, and I am not able to do it, which is probably good.

This time it is not a random seriousish FB post among fun ones. This time it is not a random call in Japanese to fluster people I forgot can actually speak the language. Or is it?

The worst thing is when there is no one to call to. Which also makes it pointless. But it is just another pointless thing to do.

No, the worst thing is that I do not care. What I look like now. That's it. What I am doing. That's it.

Erm, is it two weeks ago, for the first time in my life I opened my laptop to clean it up a bit. I was able to reassemble it the way that it turns on after 5th or so try. In the past I would have cold sweat because of this. This time I didn't care.

This is probably the most open public post of mine wherever and whenever. It might be the most open comparing to the ones to come too, though it on contrary might be just the start. You know why, right? Exactly: because I do not care.

There is only one thing worse than that. That there is a thing I do care about.


Yay, you've just wasted a minute or two of your time reading it. An achievement not many will obtain.

неділя, 10 квітня 2016 р.

漫然

The head of Calliteara pudibunda, Waugsberg, CC BY-SA 2.5. via Wikimedia Commons.

It is really past time I have written something here. And I think I should. Nothing specific. Just random thoughts. I think I am unable to write normal blog after all. But I do not want to give up. After all producing big pieces of text is what I am good at. And blog unlike social media or talk pages is where it is appropriate, even welcome. Or so I believe. Hope I am not wrong.

Wikimedia. CEE Spring. Takes lots of time. Statistics. It's my first time writing to database anything. It's my first time reading from database through Java. I think the number of SQL-queries I've written in my life is still less than 50. Less than 100 for sure. First time I've actually used classes for defining objects not already provided by the JDK or bot framework. Java is object-oriented language, heh. #72ceespringdays. What am I even doing in exopedia. Crazy thing. So hard to find what to translate. So many sad topics. Turks invading. Communists invading. Romans invading. Fuck the chronology. Ich spreche keine Deutsch. Tired of translating stuff from Russian mostly over past years. Yay I've discovered what's wrong with my alarm clock on mobile.

WLE. Conscience aches. Lazyness feasts. Work does not get done. Frustration thrives.

Clash of the Kings. Nice game. Bad game. Good game. I've stopped playing it. Stop showing me ads of the app I have already abandoned. Really do stop. Oh so that's the place where they pointed those invited translators. Why am I even applying now. Heh got ignored anyways.

Triviador. Abandoned. I gotta return. Cannot make myself do it. But I will. I surely will.

PWI. So nice to return to one of the places I really feel like native. What a joy is it to fly to the north of the City of Plume. So weird playing it in English. Russian names were better in many cases. But here is peculiar atmosphere to it. I like it. It takes time and I do not have it now, but damn that's a one place I feel relaxed in.

Duolingo. I really gotta be here too. I occasionally show up here. But stop. Why the heck am I learning Turkish. Err, no no I do not like German. Eh, French? I cannot even read it. Weird stuff. Weird things happening. Well at least I have progressed from es-0.0000000000000001 to es-0.001 and that's worth it I believe. Is it not? I hope it is. Realmente.

Music. Heh interesting after-effect of me getting a new phone was that I have started listening to some different than the national anthems music. The anthems are really better though. The standard melody they have on Samsung is actually better than most of the music I've tried, too. Really. But well still it isn't all some bad. At least it was before I've killed my headphones. But I still can do it and right now for some reason I am doing it.

Internet in general. A joy. So easy to port myself to anywhere. I wish VR comes. But it still isn't that bad already.

Anime. Not too much but in reading Sword Art Online. Oh yeah despite what I've just said I do want to dive into VR MMORPGs. Perhaps even the death game will do. Not sure about this one but the chance is great.

Books. Oh. Books. Heh. Lazy. Slow. Slow. Lolita. Too much French. I do not speak French. I do not speak French. 400 pages and I read it since August. What a shame. I've read HP+ASOIAF faster than that. How. Unbelievable. Whatever. Spin. I am really sorry, Ата, for holding it for so much time. Interesting though. I hope to finish it. The saddest thing is that there are 2 more. The saddest thing is that I do not even remember the titles. Oh I can look it up, that's not a problem. Oh wait a one is called NPC. The second one is some frenchish name. But that is really sad to not even remember the title. Hehe. Awaiting the reading mood.

Real life. What is that? Ah that stupid thing which takes me from all the above? Fuck it, it is really annoying. Really. So few good things there.

But in it. Country. The fucking country. It is sad but I think I start to hate it. Years ago perhaps I would even call myself a patriot. Then I've decided that a patriot is someone who can forsake everything for the country. Everything. I cannot. I am not a patriot. But I like the land. I do not like the country but I like the land it is in. But wait. The land was already there. It will still be there. Land is just there. Country is on the land but not the land is in the country. No link. Stupid country. Stupid people. Oh not all, that's for sure. But like 95%. Not stupid absolutely. I think most are ways and ways smarter than me in most of the fields. Nay that's not what I am about. I cannot define what I am about. But I start to hate those people. I start to hate the country. And it is not what I can easily get rid off. That kinda explains the paragraph above. Real life is annoying. The root of it is in the medium I am in. The stupid fucking medium I am in.

That's it. Pretty random stream of thoughts. Pretty sad and tired. That's what I mostly feel like though.

P.S. Oh no I am not mad. I am just on my way there. On a sure way as it looks now *bitter laughter*

субота, 25 квітня 2015 р.

Так-с, ну ось нарешті. Постійне натикання на якісь блоґи, читання якихось постів у блоґах людей з мого оточення, перш за все Атиного і т.д. і т.п. Нарешті я створюю свій. «У всіх є, а в мене нема». «Щоб було». Не те що б дуже треба.

Як ви, нещасні люди, які взялись це читати, зрозумієте дуже скоро (це якщо досі не знали), писати я зв'язно, чітко та гарно не вмію. Ну але журнал є журнал, аби сам розумів що пишу)
Десь на компі можна нарити якісь заготовки оцього посту, бо власне створювати блоґ я давно мав у далеких планах. Але ото ще шукати їх…

Якщо хтось не знає я є вікіпедистом, тому тут очевидно будуть речі про вікі.

Якщо хтось не знає я не є патріотом ні України, ні інших держав чи країн, тому позитивних коментів про будь-що, де можна приплести патріотизм, чи навпаки, як це зараз багато хто любить, русофобських випалів з причиною та без причини тут не буде. Я люблю Україну, мені певним чином подобаються США та Японія, але держави не цінніша за людей річ, а населення країн це не те саме що керівництво країн, хоча багато з першого й може підтримувати друге.

Амеба
Амеба.
Автор Picturepest. Ліцензія CC BY 2.0, файл з Вікісховища


Я загалом лінива людина, яка не доводить речі до якогось завершення, але блоґ зручна річ тим, що тут і доводити то нічого не треба. Та й нема обов'язковості постити щось часто та регулярно, як це треба при розкрутці власного сайту, скажімо.

Українська моя рідна і заодно мова яку я найкраще знаю, тому пишу перш за все нею, але скоріше за все іноді буде щось моєю неграмотною російською та ламаною англійською також :)

Ну далі буде, так би мовити. Це було свого роду представлення. Не з бухти-барахти ж постам звалюватись від невідомо-кого :)

P.S. Грамнаці, звернусь до вас окремо. Я вже написав, що в мене погані російська та англійська. Української це теж стосується, вона просто найкраща з найгіршого в мене) Якщо комусь не лінь буде знайти мої помилки й написати про них, то я позитивно ставлюсь до такого.